So a friend of mine and I were having a venting session over some fermented grapes and lamb curry (When I tell you a story I mention everything!). I think it was the good food that made the vent happen so easily guys we went hard (on the venting not the grapes! it was cathartic)
It was at this DMC (deep meaningful conversation) that we realized how tired we were of some of the destructive, hindering and damn outright outdated nonsensical narratives. The first being this unbelievable strength that we as womxn are meant to have. No I am not talking about the strength of team nyamezela the one rewarded with a ring. Cause you were the one who stuck around through all “the hard times” (his infidelity).
I am not talking about the strength of having to be that day one! That ride or die (on that note why aren’t we flying if riding is so dangerous?). Only to be left behind for someone who he relates to his current status cause you see you no longer possess the necessary skillset for his elevated life.
I am not talking about the strength of having to endure rape, molestation or any other assault on your person only to be the same womxn that cannot have this affect your relationship with males. The womxn who endures a lot and yet is calm, serene, the ever ready peacemaker. The one who must be okay with men invading her personal space and chalk it up to boys being boys or “he is just a naturally friendly guy”
I am not talking about the strength of being the prayer warrior .The one who is always strong the one who must have enough shoulder to cry on for everyone. The one who cannot be weak or express emotion most especially anger. On that note of being angry never has one emotion been villainized especially when attributed to womxn it needs to stop! Let us express ourselves however we want we are emotional because we are passionate and we are human. So even if we cry when we are angry do not dismiss us or the valid points we make.
Aren’t you exhausted from saying amen? From rolling your eyes throughout this post? but most especially from being either one or all of these womxn? I know I am. So let us make a pact that we stop being the gatekeepers of patriarchy and dismantle these narratives the moment someone tries to utter such tomfoolery around us.
Let us make a pact to be kinder to ourselves and be unapologetic in our strength that is covered in lacy femininity and all other levels of badassery. Now it’s not all doom and gloom, I see you amazing womxn saying enough is enough. Now we just need to wake up the rest.
One last plea we need a space to say I am not ok. It doesn’t have to be a huge space it doesn’t have to have the answers it just needs to be a safe space where we can totally be ourselves. Can you promise today to step out and say you will make that space even if it’s just for one person? Even if that person is you.
The sad thing is when I originally wrote this post the numbers of femicide were not escalating at the current proportions, I am not yet at a place where I can speak my truth on the current state of affairs. All I can ask is senzeni na? what have we done?
As always I love to hear from you and engage with you on your feelings? Save a life and share this post.