Sandy’s Place – South African Lifestyle Blog
Lifestyle,  Ramblings of a beautiful mind

Sipping Tea…. Womyn hating on other Womyn

Hello my amazing readers, firstly thank you for receiving my authentic writing so well and allowing me to speak my truth; I am enjoying the conversations that are flowing from my tea sipping post. Today I hope you have your tea and popcorn in hand, I come bearing spice and lots of it. Today I want to talk about womyn hating on other womyn.

The face you make when you know its about to get down

It is often said that if we hear, see or read something over and over again at some point we start to believe it to be true. This can be said of the destructive/ misleading narrative of womyn and how we cannot work together or how we cannot be leaders and are only good enough to fight over men (eye roll, yawn). I call BS and I think movements like times up are proof of such. I think it is time we change the narrative. Now let’s get in formation, sip some tea and dismantle.

You only need to see us in the toilets of the clubs to know that we have nothing but mad love for each other.

The legendary author Chinua Achebe once wrote “until the lions have their own historians the hunt will always glorify the hunter”. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself who stands to benefit from this narrative? You need only look at the celebrities: how when there is a new female artist, before she has even established herself. She is being compared to another female and they already have beef and sometimes these two people have never even met (Awkward). Look at any of our favorite dramas where womyn are often fighting over the attention of men trust me it’s by no accident that the media is churning this out. They are distracting us from the real prize: that of taking over the world. Stay woke fam! Thankfully people like my bestie Shonda (she don’t know we besties yet but she will) are flipping the script and providing better examples of strong empowered womyn fighting for another D their dreams.

Now I will admit that there are girls parading as womyn who take every opportunity available to tear the other womyn down. Who revel in gossip and the fall of the other. These are not womyn but little girls who have inferiority complexes that they need to heal from. They do not need our judgement (we have all been there, I know I have) but they need to be given a mirror so they can reflect. If that fails they need a sit down and real talking to.

Nicholle Kobi illustrations taken off of Pinterest


I believe that it’s our duty that when a womyn is our boss we don’t question her firmness and call her a bitch but when our male boss exhibits the same traits we call him a true leader. If a colleagues is promoted let’s not water down her hard work to opening her legs. When we are in leadership positions let’s open up the opportunities for our capable sisters. If they won’t have us at the table let’s get our own. When our friends have businesses lets support them and not ask for discounts.

I believe in being the change I want to see, so I will be starting a vlog series (Look out for it in August) profiling young woman who have started their own businesses. I believe that not only are they trailblazers but we could learn a lot from each other and perhaps we can inspire each other I believe this is the year of the side hustle. The year we come for everything they said we couldn’t have.

You don’t see birds fighting over the sky because they know there is more than enough space for them. It is my personal belief that when you understand your purpose on this earth you will fundamentally know that shining a light on another does not diminish your own.

Cheers to powerful, fierce sisters

So here’s to strong womyn: may we know them: may we be them and may we raise them. As always I love to hear from you let me know your thoughts, I would love to engage with you.


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