Sipping tea….A love letter to my Mbokodo

Today is womxns day the peak of womxns month, a month that is meant to celebrate the resilience of womxn, their absolute strength so powerful we are called mbokodo. Yet in the very next moment we are raped and murdered like we are nothing. With the many triggers happening all around us, I thought let me write y’all a love letter that celebrates your uniqueness and honors you.

Dear Single womyn

Side note: I feel like we still getting to know each other and sometimes I need to warn you about my side note or ramble! I had originally said single girl, see I had fallen into the trap of thinking the title womyn belonged exclusively to the wives, the mothers.  How lucky are we that we live in an age that we can learn from our mistakes and effect the change immediately, let’s try this again.

Dear Single womyn

I have been inundated by memes or articles that are always feeling sorry for the single womyn or are giving her tips on how to catch and keep that man. Firstly life does not begin nor end with a man, so instead of doing a rant, I thought I would share my thoughts and celebrate single womyn and every other womyn. It is ok if you are single and your friends are coupling up, your turn will come. I am the perpetual single one in most of my group outings. The main reason being that I don’t settle I want earth-shaking love (often get called picky) and I waddle between single life rocks and where are the good men at?

To the womyn waiting for your dream man.

Whether you believe God is still perfecting him or you are just damn tired of waiting and have started search parties to go look for his clearly lost ass. Breathe. In Xhosa we have a saying that every pot has its lid, your perfect fit is coming. There is no expiry date, no formulae to this life thing, all I can say is enjoy the journey you on. Learn the lessons, fall in love with yourself, and make yourself a priority so that you can recognize the good love when it comes. No matter what never settle just because you are tired of the jokes (even if they come from well-meaning friends they can still sting) or because of the dreaded biological clock.

The woman who doesn’t want children.

You are my favorite kind of brave womyn, not only do I applaud you for making a brave decision. Let’s be honest there are some womyn(and men) that you do not understand why they had children and then never make the effort to take care or raise their children. I applaud you because you were able to understand that you are still a phenomenal womyn with or without children, you are not defined by your womb. You make the best aunts or godmothers. I say that this decision is brave because unfortunately you are going to have to explain it over and over to people (yet they never had to explain to you why they needed children). It is brave as it might cost you some great loves who want a family.

Dear Susan

I would like to make a personal public service announcement. If you have a friend who has no desire to get married or have children. Please stop telling them that they just need to find the right guy or their life will be empty without children. This is so destructive and rude, it serves no purpose. In a world that deems it fit to tell us what to wear, how to do our eyebrows let us have our own agency. Thanks! bye

To the working mama bears

You rock, I am in awe of you! You really do make the things that make the pots come home. Not only are you excelling at work but you are also raising future leaders. Now let go of that working mom’s guilt (you are doing the best you can and that is more than enough). Do not forget to take care of you.

With love your girl: Sandi

I think all I can say is that whoever you resonate with, in this post, remember you are the spice to life and you bring your own flavor. We will never achieve our goals at the same time, stay true to your path, celebrate other people’s achievements and blessings wholeheartedly. Your time will come. I really believe we need to stop working with deadlines based on the clock, time is but an illusion. You could die right now or the day after you get married. The point is not to be gruesome but to say cherish each and every moment. Happy Womyns Day