If you want to reach the heights you want to reach then you have to get comfortable having uncomfortable conversations. This was a thought that struck me when I was having my self-reflective moments.A journal is never far during these moments. I believe that one of our core personality traits should be that of self-awareness. That’s if your intention is to win in this adulting game and grow personally. Being self-aware isn’t easy as you will often have to face hard truths and then do something about them. You will often learn your greatest stumbling block is you.
On this particular day that I had this thought I was being harsh towards myself for standing my ground and speaking up for myself. I was questioning why I had become so petty and harsh to people and then I had my “aha” moment. I had grown so accustomed to tiptoeing around people’s feelings and not voicing my opinion in certain situations that when I finally stood my ground. It was so foreign to me that I didn’t applaud myself I did the opposite. From then on I decided that I really have to lean in and get comfortable about having uncomfortable conversations.
There is no grey area– when done right the uncomfortable conversation ensures no one is under any illusions of everyone’s feelings or boundaries that cannot be crossed. All expectations are fully spoken about leaving no room for grey areas and assumptions (you know what they say about them).
They create a space of open communication- You need to be honest about the problem, your part in the problem. In turn you need to be willing to hear the other parties’ views, honour and respect them and then resolve the issue.
Things to remember
It is best to plan and write out everything you want to say. I always believe if your end goal is a resolution and continuing the relationship with the other person then we need to watch the words we use. Too often we think an uncomfortable conversation means confrontation. Definitely not the case so watch your feelings and don’t be led by them and then end up saying things you cannot take back. Also remember it’s not a monologue so let the other person speak. Most importantly remember an uncomfortable conversation will not change a person’s behaviour so learn when to work away.
I hope today’s post helped shed some light as we are bound to have uncomfortable conversations whether with friends, colleagues, family or partners. Basically wherever we have human interaction. Before I start one I sit the person down and tell them we are about to have an uncomfortable conversation. I find it gets the awkwardness out of the way, the person is mentally prepared and comfortable. What have been some of your most uncomfortable conversions? Be sure to let me know in the comments section. Do not forget to subscribe (its free) and please share the link don’t keep Sandy’s place a secret.