Hello awesome readers! my blog started out as my personal therapy and a place to let people know they are not alone. In that same vein this year I want to amplify more voices and that is why today’s post is a guest blog. As we all know that in the middle of the pandemic life
was is still happening. Today’s guest is a first time mommy and this is her experience of being pregnant during the pandemic. Please let me know what you think in the comments and if you haven’t subscribed, what are you waiting for?
Congratulations… it’s a pandemic pregnancy!
My pandemic pregnancy was (surprisingly) not one riddled with fear and anxiety. If anything, it was an answered prayer in the strangest way, truly all things work for the good! The beginning is classic: I peed on a stick, saw two lines and PANICKED. Mothering wasn’t on my top-ten list of things to do as I enjoy the last of my twenties. So naturally, I was a cocktail of emotions.
Pregnancy is something else, I spent the first three months trying to understand this new human. I was going to share my body, and ultimately, the rest of my life with — it was WAR! However we successfully made it passed the draining TRYmester. The second phase settled in with the promise that I could actually do this and do it well. Little ngwana and I had reached an understanding that we would be home to each other. A safe space we could both enjoy and that’s what the rest of the pregnancy was. But even then, I still felt like I was just floating through the change, never really accepting it. My prayer to God was for an abundance of peace and a level head for this new season I was about to step into. The transition was too heavy, I needed a moment for my feet to touch the ground.
Lockdown-the unexpected answered prayer….
So Cupcake announced the lock down and working from home was the first major change. Unknown to me, this was the beginning of my much-needed time to regain my strength and most importantly my PEACE. For the first time in a long time I didn’t have to show up for anyone but myself and my baby. I got to enjoy prayer time in the morning in my garden. I worshiped as and when I needed to and even got a chance to really focus on my work (ironically). The biggest blessing is that I got to enjoy my pregnancy with my family in the comfort of my home. I felt anchored again — an answered prayer
The things I missed out on/ realities of a pandemic pregnancy
First-timer’s blessing also worked its magic- I didn’t know what to expect, which eased the anxiety. Apart from giving death stares when people stood too close because in some (read many) parts of Durban social distancing is a myth. I was somewhat cocooned. It all sunk in when the frequent trips to the Doctor’s office started. The extra precaution the nurses took during check-ups, missing out on antenatal classes. There were no cute pregnancy photo shoots, no partner trips to the Doctor. The worse was realizing her father wouldn’t be able to be present for the birth. Hospitals being Covid-19 ridden spaces with numbers expected to peak as my due date approached heightened my anxiety.
The birthing experience:
In true procrastination style, baby girl was a week late. Her dad and I had a dance trying to time her arrival, so he could do the Covid test in time. On top of that travel from Johannesburg to Durban in time for the unknown birth-quite an ambitious pair we were🤣. Needless to say, it did NOT work 🤦♀️. The time came and those contractions hit and I had to brave it with just my midwife (bless her amazing soul). No loved ones in the delivery room. Contractions got stronger, but we were still not dilating, we looked at the scan and baby was in distress. Isolation is great until it’s not; the solace I had enjoyed at the beginning of the lock down became my worst enemy. As we prepped for our emergency C-section, I felt my heart sink. Was this how I was going to meet the love of my life? In loneliness and panic? I said a prayer and the procedures began. A few minutes later I heard a tiny little screech and that was my light. The worst was over, baby was healthy and that’s all that mattered. The loneliness was replaced by this overwhelming sense of love and gratitude. God had carried us through. Through the pandemic and through the scariest time of my life, not once did He leave us.At the end of it all, I thank God for my pandemic pregnancy, it gave me the silence I needed to prepare myself for the beautiful light that has entered my life — a powerful Kgabo Mila Amandla Banjwa.
Thank you to Anitta for her time and dedication to this post 🧡